It’s not jealousy

Two of my very good friends went traveling last fall. One to Australia and New Zealand for two and a half months, the other one to spend seven months in NZ before continuing her way around the world.

I guess I could say that I was jealous. I was and I am in a way. I’m jealous that they get to see beautiful New Zealand, that they get to have all these wonderful moments with new friends, get to see places that’ll take their breath away, get to experience something new. But my jealousy is not really jealousy. I’m sure there is a word for it but I don’t know it so I’ll try to explain.

I don’t feel jealous because I know my time will come. I don’t feel jealous because I don’t have time, money or courage to travel the world. I don’t feel jealous because I know I have already seen so much, because I know I will travel more. I can’t even say that I’m jealous because they get to go now. I can’t and wouldn’t travel right now because of my work, because my mortgage, because my financial situation. I don’t want to travel long-time right now. But I will. My time will come.

So instead of jealousy I felt happy for my friends. I felt proud that they were following their dreams, I am in awe of their bravery. I look forward to following their journey and to hearing all the stories they’ll have to share.

by Mari in Thoughts and stories

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